How to choose a roommate: habits come first
To get along in one apartment, your everyday habits have to match. Someone who leaves for work early in the morning and someone who works the night shift will find it hard to live together: when one sleeps, the other walks around the kitchen. So when you meet, talk not about the price but about work schedules and who sleeps when.
Then ask directly about the topics people argue over most. Does he or she smoke, and if so, where? Are there pets? How often do guests come, and can they stay overnight? At first these questions may seem rude, but a surprise that comes up later is worse. Listen to the answers. And decide in advance for yourself which question you will not give way on.
Ideas about cleanliness differ for everyone, too. One person thinks it is fine to leave dishes until morning, another does not. If you talk about it before moving in, the first weeks of living together go much more calmly. Also find out how long each of you plans to stay. A few months and a long stay are different things.
- Work schedule and sleep routine
- Smoking: whether they smoke, and where
- Pets and attitude to them
- Guests and overnight stays
- Cleaning and taking turns
- How much noise they tolerate
- How long they plan to stay: a few months or a long time
Staying safe when meeting a stranger
You cannot always find a roommate among people you know, and there is nothing strange about making an arrangement with a stranger. Just arrange the first meeting not at home but in a busy place: a cafe, near a metro station. This is for your convenience and theirs. A person with serious intentions will understand.
Before the meeting, do not give the exact address; the district and the nearest metro are enough. The roommates section on Birev is built the same way. In a listing the person comes first, not the apartment. The exact address is never published, only the district is visible. Accounts are confirmed by phone number. This is not a full guarantee, but it is a step forward from anonymous messaging.
When you go to a meeting, tell your family or friends where you are and who you are with. When you go to see an apartment for the first time, take someone with you if you can. Beware of anyone who rushes you about money. A person who says "if you do not hand over the deposit today, the room will be taken" gives you no time to think, while a normal offer leaves that time. Do not send a photo of your ID in messages, and do not pay anything without seeing the apartment.
- Meet the first time in a busy place
- Share only the district, not the address
- An account confirmed by phone
- Tell someone close about the meeting
- Do not transfer money without seeing the apartment
- Do not send a photo of your ID in messages
Money: rent, deposit, utilities and the lease
Splitting the rent in half is the simplest way, but not always the fairest. Rooms differ in size, windows and balcony. If the person who takes the larger room pays a little more, that is normal. Discuss before moving in who will pay how much, so that nobody feels cheated later.
The deposit is a separate conversation. The landlord usually takes it from one person and, when the apartment is returned, gives it back to one person as well. Write down who paid how much and how each person gets their share back when leaving. Split utilities every month by the meter, and keep the receipts in your shared chat. Then the question "who paid last month?" will not come up.
It also matters whose name is on the lease. The person whose name is on the lease usually answers to the landlord. The second tenant has no direct arrangement with the landlord. If possible, ask to have both of you written into the lease. If not, at least make sure the landlord knows about the second tenant and does not object.
- Share of the rent: by room size, not necessarily half and half
- Deposit: who paid it, how to get it back when leaving
- Utilities: every month by the meter, receipts in the shared chat
- Internet and shared household costs: a separate list
- The payment day, and what happens if it is late
A written agreement: needed even between friends
When you live with a close friend, writing anything down seems unnecessary. In fact it is the surest way to keep the friendship: write down everything about money and household matters in advance. You do not need to go to a notary. Simple text, or a message that stays in both your phones, is enough.
The lease with the landlord is a different document. Your agreement does not replace it, only supplements it. The lease records the conditions of the apartment, and the agreement records who splits what and how. We explained how a lease is drawn up in a separate guide.
Do not treat what is written as unchangeable. When someone changes jobs, a third person moves in, or utilities suddenly go up, open the text and update it. The argument "we did not agree on that" ends with the written text: whatever each person agreed to stays there.
- Each person's monthly share and the payment day
- How the deposit is split and the order of returning it
- How utilities and internet are calculated
- Rules on guests and overnight stays
- The cleaning rota for shared areas
- How much notice someone gives who wants to move out
- Who keeps the things bought together when someone leaves
Daily life: shared spaces and personal boundaries
The kitchen, the bathroom and the hallway are shared, but each person has their own room. Respect this boundary from the first day. Not entering a room without permission and not taking things without asking is a simple rule, but it is the one broken most often. Dividing the fridge by shelves, with each person keeping their own food, may seem funny. But it prevents many quarrels.
Split cleaning on a weekly rota, and decide together how clean the shared areas should be. Shared items such as cleaning products and toilet paper either buy in turns or set up a small shared fund. If your work schedules differ, agree on quiet hours too.
For guests, one rule is enough: whoever is coming, write in advance. If someone's partner often stays overnight, that is effectively a third resident, and it can affect how the rent is split. Say so directly, and do not keep it to yourself.
If you do not get along: parting on good terms
Not every shared life works out, and that does not mean anyone is a bad person. Do not store up small grievances. Dishes, noise, guests: whatever it is, say it calmly the same day. Staying silent for a long time and then exploding does not end the quarrel; it deepens it.
If talking does not help, open the written agreement. It has both the notice period and the split of the deposit, and with them parting goes calmly. If the person moving out wants their share of the deposit counted toward the last month's rent, discuss that with the landlord too. After all, the landlord took the deposit from one person and will return it to the same one.
If the person whose name is on the lease stays, they are mostly the one who looks for the new roommate. The person moving out can help too: repost the listing, meet candidates. If you part on good terms, your relationship with the landlord will not be spoiled either, and it will be easy to get a recommendation from them later. Sometimes it is more convenient to rent a separate apartment. That is a normal decision too.